One and a half year ago, I started noticing I had to change something. I started to feel uncomfortable when I had to work and a bit too relieved when I had a day off. During the daily commute I felt very stressed, partly because traffic in Lyon is horrible, partly because I always managed to leave at the last moment, but mostly because I could think of so many other things to do. Travel, for example.
A night in Lyon
One day after work, Luis proposed to have some drinks at a pub. I thought he just wanted to have a date night outside of our apartments, and since I love Cider I couldn’t say no. While I was enjoying small talk – and my cider – Luis felt pretty nervous. He is pretty formal. Whenever he wants to say something serious – or not serious – he does it in a formal way. That’s why he invited me to go for drinks. He had something to say and he wanted it in a relaxed environment to try to make the information less heavy.
After a while he started, and I figured out we went to the pub with a reason. Trying to find the words to express himself in the best way, he finally came to the point.
“Nicole.. I have been thinking a lot lately. And I took the decision to go back to Mexico.” I blinked with my eyes, while my thoughts went to another galaxy. Luis kept on rambling and trying to justify his decision. When he was done, he looked at me and asked me what I was thinking.
My first reaction was that he shouldn’t leave, that I wanted him to stay in France. Then I realized I totally understood him, I didn’t feel satisfied in France neither. And we both knew that, we had agreed on that from our first date. Something inside of me changed.
I told him I took my words back, that of course I understand him. He had my support. It was not easy, it took a lot of effort for him to be able to go to France and study there. According to him, nobody could see why he would leave Lyon, where he studied, had an apartment, and a job. I was living the same ‘dream’, having my own place and a fixed contract.
A bit later..
Our conversation got deeper and we discussed his plans. It turned out he didn’t have any plans yet. We got another cider, talked about another subject. Suddenly I couldn’t hold it any longer and blurted it out.
“I’m going with you, to Mexico!”
Now it was him who was blinking with his eyes.
He was quite in shock. His girlfriend – maybe just a casual thing, maybe not – suddenly wanted to join him to the other side of the world? A totally different world than she grew up in? He couldn’t understand it.
At night he asked me again if I actually did know what I was saying? He probably thought I was out of my mind.
But yeah, why not? I wasn’t happy where I was, so something needed to change.
I have to admit we both needed some time after that to process what it really meant for us personally and for our relationship. It’s quite a thing after all! What made it feel safe, was the knowledge that if it wouldn’t work out, I could always go my own way. Worst case scenario it would have been the impulse I needed to get on the move again.
But as you can see, it did work out. It is the best decision I’ve made and I absolutely don’t regret it!