My life has been pretty awesome last year. Heck, even the years before. After suffering from a mental breakdown, I found a temporary job, moved abroad, got a contract and just stayed. Because I wanted to. Because I could. Because I had the freedom.
I needed an income and the company could offer me an income. And I loved living abroad, with all the struggles being different than the standard struggles of life at home. Yes, even the problems are a whole new world, and a big part of living abroad. Since the cases are less usual, you have to be way more adventurous to overcome all of it and get yourself in the right direction.
It’s so easy to make a standard life plan. Study, graduate, find a job, buy a house, find love. Get married. Get babies. It’s not all given away easily, but it’s a clear path and even though you might not necessarily follow the steps in this order, in the end you will get to the top – a house, a family and an income.
But what if this doesn’t satisfy you? It didn’t satisfy me. The idea of having followed the usual way makes me shiver. I didn’t gain work experience in my work field. I haven’t build up a retirement plan in the Netherlands. What I did gain, was life experience, and no one can take that away from me.
Without having planned anything – without any expectations – all of a sudden I achieved a few of the checkpoints I mentioned before. I got married. Then quit my job. Then I got pregnant. And then we moved out of our apartment. It doesn’t fit in the total picture. It’s not ideal and sometimes not easy at all – I can assure you not knowing how things will turn out is turning our hair gray.
And still. It it’s totally worth it!
I wouldn’t have done it any other way. I love that even though we are reaching the usual relationship goals rapidly, life around us is becoming more of a question mark, and a big adventure. Of course, our child deserves to arrive in a world where we can take care of her and we want it to be perfect. But does it really matter for the baby itself that she has a beautiful, fully equipped baby room in a big house, with a backyard? Does she care about the kitchen being big and complete? Size of the living room?
The answer is ‘no’.
Our baby needs to arrive in a loving world, where mommy and daddy are there for her, together, taking care of her with all the love they can give. Our child needs a roof, a warm house and a safety. What matters most to her, is being able to be in the arms of her parents.
Our new path may be filled with many obstacles. It’s definitely not the highway, which takes you to your destination with little effort. For example, we still need to take care of Luis’ visum. While other families might have the color of their baby room as almost their only concern.
Luckily we have both already proven it’s not necessary to go with ordinary. Life doesn’t come with one single game plan. We will never let limited beliefs decide how to live our lives right now.
Having to build our family and stabilize for the future, doesn’t mean we have to give up on our freedom and personal growth. We are more motivated than ever.
I have full confidence one way or another we will reach our destination – our destiny.
And you know what? We will overcome our hurdles and grow. When things settle down, we can be proud of ourselves once again. Because we just did it. We followed our dreams.